It's been five years.

I had an opportunity of a lifetime.

Sometimes you meet someone, and you look into their eyes and in them you see your fate.  Then without your permission, your voice just says, "Yes," without any conflict or retreat.  You can say "synchronicity" or "serendipity", but I've come to believe in a bigger picture than even that.

Five years ago, I was in India, having an adventure that changed my life entirely.

I saw things.

Things I wonder if they were even real

I saw kids with limbs missing, begging for money, because they were maimed and 'hired' to do so.  I saw men dedicated to bowing millions of times before which they considered holy.  I saw others who hated me for my pale skin, and plotted to obtain the money of the traveler's checks, which were hidden in a special contraption of a pocket, strapped around my waist, under my shirt.

I now carry two tattoos on my arms that I got there, just to remind myself that it wasn't a dream. 

BUT the feeling of that land.

I recently talked to a lady from India, and I told her how much I missed her country, because of the energy of the land, and how it felt.  -It was holy.

Holy in so many ways.  -Holy like Allen Ginsberg's poem "Holy".  Holy like Krishna just danced through. Holy like the feeling and comfort of love.  -Holy like smoking hash and watching the sunset over the Arabian Sea, and realizing things are much bigger than you originally had thought.

I've learned a lot since then, though.  I get the same feeling when I watch a sunset, completely sober, over the Gulf of Mexico here at home.  I've learned to carry the feeling I felt in the "Monkey Temple," with me into all situations.  That was a temple dedicated to Hanuman, outside of Jaipur, where I bowed in front of an image of Krishna and secretly prayed for understanding and guidance as I dealt with the recent loss of my dear father, breaking all the rules of my Baptist-Christian upbringing.

"Monkey Temple"

The next day I was at a memorial for past Maharajas in Jaipur, and there was a very small temple set up for Shiva on the edges of the property.  One of the guards was standing next to a deep ditch which went in front of the temple, which I was near, and pointed down into the ditch below me, and said, "Look madam, a cobra."

Sure enough, there was a black cobra slithering along the rocks of the ditch, without it's hood exposed (which reminded me of a larger version of the Black Racers I grew up with in rural Mississippi).  One of the most poisonous snakes in the world, just going along, maybe six feet below me, like life ain't no big thing.  For those who don't know, the black cobra is associated with Shiva.  So, in a sense, Shiva made his appearance in a smaller form for me to take note of.

Shiva is the creator and transformer of worlds.  He is the image of impermanance and life everlasting, in the same slide of the picture reel.  And I'll let you in on a little secret... to see both in any aspect of life is to understand the secret teachings of all ages.  But that's the kind of talk that some may call BS while others may call wisdom everlasting.

I have a special place in my heart for India.  I feel like I get what drew Ram Dass back so many times, and what shifted George Harrison to be who he became.

I am so thankful for that place that tested me, in so many ways, but showed me so many things in return.

God, that was such a crazy adventure.  -Maybe someday I'll write a book about it...

Namaste,
The Joanna of Life and Death

It's about time. [Attention: Deep thoughts ahead]

The other day at work, which was the last day of my work week, I felt like the clock was just broke.  It was a slow day, and I felt like I was accomplishing nothing.  And now, my second day off and the last day of my "weekend", and I feel like time is just whizzing by!  -I mean, what the deuce, man?

Whew... -Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.

Have you ever paid attention to time?

A glance at your watch, timing your workout, feeling like your time at your job could not go by any slower, or maybe even hitting the snooze button one too many times because the snooze time did not feel long enough.  -Have you ever just pondered about how this happens?  Why this is?

Well, I don't have all the answers of the physics or actualities of it all, but I have come up with a few points.

"Live in the moment."

The truth is that the past is only real in our minds, and the future is not real either.  If you miss the moment of now, you will miss out on influencing the past and the future.

Now, don't let this phase you.

In this moment, right now, as I type away on this keyboard, there are millions (yes, MILLIONS) of possibilities existing right now.  Now, that can be difficult to wrap your head around, and oh boy, falling down that rabbit hole could be quite a long fall.

You can totally let THAT phase you [Lol-jk]. 

BUT, I must say this is a guideline for taking it easy, and not getting worked up about anything.  Because you simply cannot change the past and the future is not here yet.  It is merely an everlasting moment of NOW.  -So one step at a time.  Easy does it!

"Time flies when you're having fun."

"Time Flies" by ErDavid

Sometimes this one can be frustrating.  It's like looking forward to a vacation, and then once you're finally there, it's time to go back home again.  -Total crap, huh?

Well, I don't know any real facts about this phenomenon, but I do have a theory:

Scientists and physicists have come a long way in how they view the world around us, and have concluded that everything in existence is made up of energy.  And the frequency at which this energy vibrates determines how it appears in the "reality" around us (i.e. Water vibrates at a higher frequency than the desk that I'm sitting at, therefore I interpret the desk as solid and the water as liquid).  Well, when you are feeling down and depressed, that is a heavy or dense vibration of your energy, as opposed to being happy, light and bouncy, which is a much higher vibration of your energy.

Now, go with me on this one, what if your mood actually affects your perception, if not the actuality of how time passes from your perspective?  So that when you are enjoying yourself and having fun, time really does go by faster, at least from your point of view.  And when you are not happy or feeling miserable because of a bad day at work, the clock cannot tick fast enough.  This is pretty deep thinking, but I feel like when coupled with Bio-centrism Theory and the teachings of the Law of Attraction, this really makes a lot of sense.

"Life is short."

This one may be the most difficult for most to stomach.  -Memento mori, and such.

Life passes by faster than we realize because it is part of the make-up of our existence in this dimension at this point in the universe.  When we are born, we are born a-new, and see death as the end, and thus fear it as such.  This is just an understanding that I have carried since I was child, and can't fully explain it to some.  Nor do I really feel the need to [cheesy grin here].

Even people I have met who wonder about who they could have been in a past life, fear death as the end of their existence, with of a cry of "is there something more??"

I feel that a lot of anxiety could be brought up with some readers on this train of thinking, and to those I point back to "live in the moment."  The end is not near.  Enjoy your life right NOW.

So, I digress to answer this with how I simply explain it to myself.  If this take in life went on forever, it would not mean as much to me as it does.  I savor it just the way it is.  I accept that I am mortal in this existence and revel in the beauty I find in the world to make this short life so meaningful, moment by moment.  Day by day.

Conclusion!

When you think about it, man is the only one who tries to measure time.  The animals follow their patterns with the seasons, but overall, just live life moment to moment.  I mean, our pug has never asked to look at a watch but he always seems to be aware of when it is time to eat or when it's bedtime by observing the movements and patterns of us human-folk.  And let's face it, you have to give nature credit for living the simple life.

Moral of the story:  Take your time, and enjoy each moment.


So, from my perspective to yours,
with mucho love,
and delivered sincerely,

-Joanna [of this time]

I'm evolving.

And by "evolving" I mean that I have a head cold.

Talk about winning. -I'm straight-up champion about it.

I have to say that I haven't had a true cold in probably a good year or so. There must be something to eating your veggies and drinking plenty of water, so eat your green beans and carrots, kids.

I'm really fascinated by this human body that we travel around in. Did you know that you dwell in biological super-technology? I mean, just the fact that nearly every cell in your body is regenerated every seven years is astonishing. And the fact that even though you don't dwell in the same body as you did when you were five years old, doesn't change the actuality that you're still YOU, no matter how many times your body has shifted and shaped into what it is now. How freaking awesome is that? -And that's not the half of it.

The fact that we don't die from the common cold is pretty cool too. Which is a good thing, cause I'm not done yet [cheesy grin here].

So when you look at yourself in the mirror again, don't just notice your hair or the food that may be in your teeth. Really LOOK at your self. Look at your eyes and feel amazement for how they react to light, which protects your eyesight. Look at how the largest organ, your skin, covers the framework of your body to give you a one-of-a-kind appearance. Look within yourself a feel a quantum connection with that which needs not be explained, the soul-essence of your being in this reality, and send your self some love and appreciation. You are a facet of the jewel, which is the universe. And even if we have never met face to face in this lifetime, I am very thankful for you. -Thank you for being you.

Lots and lots of love for you here.
-The Jo-ster.

Lessons in what you control and what you do not control. -I think they call this "life".

What do you do when you are expecting something and then it slips away from you? Like for instance you are expecting to start a particular course, that you can only take night classes for, and you get a call that the class may not make for the coming semester, that someone will discuss your "options" with you.

Me? I'll admit that I let a nice little expletive slip.

An honest, human reaction, all things considered.

This course of classes I received the call about is a possibility that I have developed such attachment and anticipation for. A skill, a knowledge I would love to become fluent in. But the whole idea is not completely out of the picture. No need to throw the baby out with the bath water. I don't believe in giving up too easily. I've learned that sometimes life works in strange and mysterious ways.

But how many times has that happened? To anyone? A monkey wrench thrown into the gears of your preset plan of how things should play out. Jeez, sometimes it's enough to make the preacher want to cuss. However I've learned a few things that has changed my true reaction to such plot twists.

In the famous words of Mr. Bill Hicks, "It's just a ride."

Word.

So many times we get so hot and bothered over variables that may just have our best interests in mind, whether we see that or not. If there's anything to the Law of Attraction (and all those in the "know" will tell you there is), maybe you have better outcomes in store for yourself, so why fret it?

Just chill. Take a breath. Remember how cute you are when you let go and laugh so hard you can cry. Or how it felt when someone looked into your eyes and the unspoken connection made you feel so empowered and humbled, the way love feels. Or maybe just the last time you saw a beautiful sunset. In any case, you have a lot of good around you, if you just focus on that instead of what you don't like or care for.

It's that simple, really. If you wanna be happy, and stay that way, just find your moments of beauty, the blessings in disguise, the things that make you smile, and set your intention to focus on and see more of THAT.

To me, I believe one of the most holy things you can do is to let yourself be genuinely happy. So what if I have to wait to start the schooling for the course I want to take. I'm not gonna let it get me uptight. I still have a roof over my head, and food to nourish me. I have so much to be thankful for. So much to be happy about.

[In other news:]

Pope Francis just started a uproar in the religious community with his comment during a recent service declaring that hell was made up, and I have to agree with him. I've witnessed so many people put themselves through such hellish predicaments, when a few good choices could have changed it all for the better. And I only recognize the pattern because I was in their shoes once, myself. Sometimes things happen that can either scar us or shape us, depending on what perspective of it you take and give power to. It's the power of point of view that can make the difference for a person who has been through unthinkable struggles, which we all have had a taste of. It can mean the difference between a drug addict and a life coach. And if we can create such hell for ourselves, I truly believe we can create our own heaven too.

[So back on track:]

If you don't like something, change it. -And if you can't change it, make the most of it. -And if you can't make the most of it, at least give yourself a break and make peace with it. At the end of the day I only have control over how I react to everything else around me. So I'm gonna go with the flow and follow my number one rule for myself, which is, "just be cool, Joanna."

After all, "it's just a ride."

Watch the video of Bill Hicks explaining how "It's just a ride."

[Moral of the story:]

Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It's something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Peace, love, and light to you all.
Sincerely,
Joanna

Happy New Year!

I have finally decided to put a blog out there for folks to read, and today was just an obvious start-date. The exact direction of this blog is still uncertain, but I promise I have lots of fantastic stories and insights to put out there. 

This year is already interesting. I've seen the usual posts here and there about New Year's resolutions and what-not, but I honestly haven't made any. I did a great deal of thinking about it, and have decided I'm pretty okay with my weight, I eat a lot of healthy goodness, and I gave up offering the smoke of nicotine incense to the gods a while back. Last year, at this time, I was still trying to keep my head up while dealing with the stress of keeping up with my mother's care, while early-onset Alzheimer's disease was sealing her fate. That was heavy stuff, man. On more than one level. But that was part of the path that has lead me here, and I have emerged from the fire of that experience transformed and blessed. This year is just already so different and full of so much potential. I have this feeling in my gut that it's gonna be awesome.

I'm going to utilize this outlet for doing what I do: pointing out things sometimes overlooked, and helping people to lighten up and have the gumption to enjoy this life. And you, the viewer, get to watch how it all unfolds! [You lucky thing, you.]

Here's a groove-tastic song to start these next group of 365 days off right:
Earth Island by Crystal Fighters 

Until next time...
<3